CONFESSIONS

- Am getting results from an exam I did last month and gaaaaah I have a bad bad feeling. It was hard and damn I don't think I have luck on my side.
- am 20+ and it's my first time being in love. My first boyfriend ever. Yes my first everything.
- am not as smart as my family thinks.
-I hate counting odd numbers. It makes me sad. Plus I hate to have to pronounce consonants. Prefer vowels coz the English language (I think in English) has 5 and it makes everything, my life easier.
- I sometimes have unhealthy thoughts. About murder, depression, being left out in the wild alone, Drowning. Yeah those kinds of thoughts.
- I am a loner and that's my biggest problem coz I come off as being ver social. Am not
- I am capable of hurting someone very bad if that person is a rapist.
- I have a feeling, that my family doesn't love or appreciate me as much I do loooove them with all my heart.
- am very scared of being abandoned or left out.

To be continued

Family

Family, the best but theee worst. I swear if I wasn't related to some people, we would NEVER EVER be friends or have any kind of relationships whatsoever. Gaaaaah. You try and try to make them happy, to have a relationships with them but all that in vain. They only
Smile at you or even think of you when it "works for them". Son of a gun. Would rather be all alone that throw myself to people. It's sad but a fact. Thank God am learning, I really am.

One of those days

One of those days, where almost everything feels bleeeeee;(. Most of what am doing or planning aint going right. Am a space person, i need my space, i need to shut the whole world out and just do my thing. That is my hobby these days. Am irritated, sad, very sad even though am doing a good job at keeping up a front.
Ï have always said it and will for sho repeat myself. I donnot hang around people who donot value me and my family. Am sad. Can please someone teach how to be happy again?

5 things

1. Ihave a presentation today about stuff I don't know. 

2. After two weeks outta the gym, am at it again. It feels good but damn it too many people at the gym. 

3. Have I mentioned that my man is theeee best that happened to me? 4yrs and counting;). 

4. Am in my third year at uni. Have 2 to go. 

5. One of my biggest dreams is to learn Spanish and speak it fluently. Barca fan of course.

My man

My man. There is something about him. He is thee most annoying, yepp he makes me angry till i cannot handle myself. Though am short-tempered and thus get angry at whatever whenever. My baby has been too nice to me through all these year we have been together. I am grateful, i have an a m a z i n g boyfriend. I just have to make sure i keep him (as in not drive him away9. He never does MEGA stuff for me but every single day, he does tiny mini stuff that show how much he cherishes me, he says i love pretty much all the time. I am in love with him, i love him.

I have never been in love before. It is soemthing i just dreamt of, something i kinda wished for. Now that i know that am actually in love, it is kinda toxic attimes. you do stuff without knowing, without thinking coz of this urge that forces you not to use your brain, rather your heart...it is toxic but most of the time, in a positive way.
I am bipolar...ish. My mood changes abruptly errrytwime so i hope that when he makes me angry, that i remember my love for him instead of lashing out. Good lord in need to control my mouth when am angry.
For yall who havenot experienced love, you will...i promise you will. Donot settle for less, donot take someone just because and please please get to know the people you are wanting before throwing yourselves in it. And lastly, relationships are HARD WORK. It is not all nutti nutti. You will cry, laugh, shout, scream, kinda hate the person...you just have to not forget why you with them.

its all love. toodles.

A favourite

My all time favourite, something I really should practice. 

''DONT TAKE ANYTHING PERSONAL''
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say or do is a projection of there own reality, there own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you wont be the victim of needless suffering.

Goooosh Amen to that. How yall been btw? Me? Pufffff never been more stressed:(

Good bye weekend

Yeah my weekend ended today.... Sadly, I skipped sch on Friday (don't do that peeps) and decided to jet off to my boo. We been lazy all weekend, but not as lazy as we usually do coz these past days, we've woken up 9 am to go training. Ooooo we've been so good. He is such a good personal trainer that motivates me and shows me how I should do stuff. Now going back to my place, I won't k ow how to workout on my own. Sobs *.

Theeee worst part was when I got ma period and started craving for anything and errrrthang with sugar. Poor baby, he is tryna be healthy and all so he had nothing. But we went and bought some stuff for me and I was a happy girlfriend. Did I say that that was the worst part? That's a lie. Hehehe the worst part was when I cried. I always cry for the tiniest things these days. I cried at least thrice this weekend. For what? Well that baby of mine was being shady and all and I was being a drama queen. More than that, I can't tell coz am too embarrassed. All in all, we are good terms. Yeeey.

Now that am back to r e a l I t y, I got looooots of catching up to do. School, gym, work aaaaand wash, cook and clean my tiny toilet look like alike apartment. It's disgusting. I haven't cleaned in ages, clothes everywhere. Oh well, thank God I live alone.....for now.

Ciao ciao psychos 

ADDICTIVE

Am so in love with this song....yepp in love

Good Lord

My goodness. School is LITERALLY killing me. Gaaaaaah:(. Just did two retakes in medicinal chemistry and medicinal toxicology. Na these aren't hard at all bah damn it, I always fail the easy ones but pass the hard ones. But I thank God that I've passed them na. I can excitedly say that I've passed 2 years of university. Am so damn proud of myself. Studying hard and shit. God bless me:)

BWAHAHAHA

Oh ma gush theeee worst valentine everrrrr. Hope yall had a better valentine than me. Horrible n terrible. Anyhu me n ma friends just been laughing about how horrible this day been. Yes, we that ain't single have bad valentine days. Not so much to do bout it so am off to bed coz I KNOW tomorrow is a better day. 

Nite nite dollz

YO

Waaaaaad up. How's the going yall. Am good.....if anyone's wondering. Am really good. Atm, am in the library studying for am exam that I got in a week:(:(. Kill me. Am prolly gwon fail it coz I've been lazy lately, like super lazy. Anyhu, it's not the end of the world. Retakes are my best friends. 

Anyhu, I had an AMAZING day yesterday. My baby boo decided to show up at my house and surprise me<3. Very unexpected I must say coz he told me had looooots going on at sch. And yes he has tans of work to complete but he too 2 days outta his hectic schedule for me. I love that boy. Been feeling lonely lately so when he came, I hugged the shit out of him, hehehe ma munchkin.

Bla bla enough bout lurrrrve......or not. Valentines day is around the corner. I really don't care about the day coz I shower ma boo with love and presents everyday BUT 14th Feb is an excuse for celebration. I don't say no to that. I got a very very gorgeous present for him *pat of the back.*  I know he will like it. Awwww. He always takes me out to dates but not this time coz ill take charge.

Yall single folks out there, don't even bother feeling left out in that day. Trust me that when you find him/her, the wait will be worth it. 

Love to yall

Good morning

Good Mornin yall Mornin people out there:). Haa you dooooooin (will smith voice). Hahahah

So yeah am in a good mood today. Don't really know why. Besides the fact that am behind on sch work, errrrrthang else is fine oooo. We'll not everything coz am having trouble understanding some of my so called friends at uni. Seriously, what's wrong with us ladies? As soon as we get ourself a man, then bye bye friends oooor they will only contact you when he ain't around. Like seriously?? Psycho

Oh oh I am in a good mode. Should stop jeopardizing it with thinkin if worthless people. Hehehehe dirt!

I have a blog?

Oh wow I have a blog....I totally had missed that. Hehehehe seriously I have like 10000 1000000 zillion stuff to do. Busy girl ey? Yep and that's why people, I haven't updated. Right now imma about to sleep with lots of physical pain, especially my thighs coz yep yep yep you guessed right, I've been a good girl and been training the last couple of weeks. I say BEACH 2014 hola;)/);):). 

Anyhu been thinking too much lately (btw I wish there was an on/off button for the brain). 

1. I do and say stuff that are meaningless. It bothers the shit outta me

2. I don't appreciate. I never seem to just take a break and appreciate stuff, instead am always looking side ways for better stuff. Suck

3. Why does sch gotta be soooo damn hard? 

4. Am a hardworking woman. Ma man better be hardworking too.

Nite nite 

POSITIVITY

Yasss I borrowed this from a blog I read. Positivity, that's my new thing. I am a very pessimistic person. I literally find the bad and negatived in eeeeeverything, and I mean everything. I even find the bad in myself. Yepp that's the ugly truth. It's gonna take time and hard work but imma do best to find the positive in stuff, to stop dwelling on the tiny events in my life. Just shrug if something gwon bother me. It's gonna take hard work, but I can do it.

frustration

Yepp thats the word of the day, infact, its the word of the week. Exams time and stupid, stupid me did not study during the holidays so yeah am paying for it na. I have 2 exams the next coming weeks, the first one coming up this Friday. Am panicking....literally. I still got time but i have been studying lots the entire weekend without any results. It does not help when people keep on asking  "oh how are your studies goin?". Just feel like answering "you dumb fuck got nothing else to ask?". Did i say i was frustrated? Hmmm think its turning to anger.

Anyhu am good how yall?

Off to ma bed that does not ask fucked up questions

Drunk on it.......literally

This song....the lyrics, the video. Oooooooh this song is meant for me. Totally not exeggerating. Am drunk in love, literally. Hope my significant other feels the same way. Hehehehehe I've been an angry girlfriend lately coz of the medication am on. Lol it plays with my hormones and makes me, who usually has a shirt temper, well it got shorter:(:(:(. Hate it.
Anyhu here is the video

This song reminds lots about ma summer. Oh should totally write the MAY-August resume when am at it. Best summer ever. Literally. I worked for 2 months and then chilled and travelled in August before school resumed. I do not remember arguiin that much with baby boo which always is a good thing. Hehehe. I had cash, my mami was spoiling me and being waaaaay too nice to me. Ooh summer 2013, you made me happy.

Ciao ciao off to...nah not sleep. Do something like stalk people on Instagram