GRADUATION

It is that time of the year when students graduate here in Sweden. Graduate from high school. I really do not understand why we celebrate high school graduation and not university. It is weird ha? Anyhu, it prolly doesnt matter coz the feeling when graduating cannot be described. It has been a couple of years since i graduated(from high school) yet it feels like yesterday. I remember injuring my foot while playing football the day before. The entire foot was swollen when the big day came but I swear i did not feel a thing because iÏ was too excited. I remember not being able to sleep the night before, Staring at my walls, it was the longest night of my life.
Me and my friends longed for graduation day. But now, i kinda wish that day never came because being in high school was one of the best tings i have done in life. But again, if i did not graduate, then i would not have started university and met amazing people and of course experiencing everything am going through. Yes even the tears that come with all the assignments i have to hand in. I now realize how spoon fed we were in high school. The teachers used to literally chase us and beg us to hand in our work, while at uni pufffffff your own garbage hunny,no one cares.
All yall graduating, I wish yall the best day. Have fun and please yall who like to dance, shake that behind like it aint nobodys business. Make sure you hug your friends tightly coz you might never see them again. Graduation day is really a beautiful sight.

Good nite dolls

You ok?

I've had an amazing and effective week. Been able to juggle sch, work and my gym training. All that seemed to go well till  today. Sitting with my eyes red from sobbing, I've never felt this lonely. I am trying to remember last nights event coz that's when I was all smiles out dancing with my friends bah all that seems to be blurry.
The weird thing is that am sobbing while trying to do some studying (Multi tasking for sure). Am trying to hold back my tears while talking to a friend on the phone. She asks me if am alright and I "naturally" answer that all is good and then go ahead and lie that mum is calling and I hang up. Weird ha? You've ever asked anyone how they are and they give u a genuine answer. "God morning Lillian, how are you?" Oh well ma mum hit me last night and am all bruised so am not alright. You ever get that?
Why is that we are always feeling good? That everything is what it is? I kinda uderstand that when you meet new people, you have to put on a front and not be selling out all your wardrobe garbage coz them honey  you are the weirdo. But then I don't understand why it's like that. Why is it weird not to just spill your garbage to anyone coz we yall got our own garbage after all. Frustratin.
I think it's a matter of trust and confident. To be able to own up your damn problems and not be ashamed of them, to be able to talk about everything without anyone judging you or using your problems against you. Twisted world.
Unfortunately, am one of those people. Am one of the pretenders who puts up a front and won't tell anyone anything. Am one of them who prefers waking up in the middle of the night and start crying very very quietly so no one would notice my rage and pain. I am a pretender and I hate it bah one thing am grateful for, since I started university, I've met wonderful people who are honest. They are disgustingly honest that I envy them. I get to listen to stories, genuine stories about their lives. From how and when they woke up, to what and how they swallowed their last meal of the day. Yes they are disgustingly honest.

Oh well, my tears have now dried up, I better get back to my studying. And now I don't remember the purpose of this post.

Have a nice weekend folks

Whyhowwhichwherewhy

Feels like my head is in transit. Like I've lost all my brain cells. I don't know how to feel. It's weird bah I just don't how to feel atm. Good things are happening, have happened but bad things are happening, have happened. They are happening parallel with each other. I feel like am about to cry but I can't, no I won't cry. I refuse to shade a tear (exhale in and out). 

One thing I have to stop doing is expecting. I do things, nice things to or for people and expect them to treat me right. Am not like buying maself love bah like...,,,, fwack it. Can't explain coz am too agitated and its late. Am stopping right here before I go bazack and start swearing. 

Am off 

This is too beautiful

Thank you Scarlet's diary for reminding me of these two beautiful creatures.  I follow em on YouTube but hadn't seen there videos in a while. Folks, you need Kleenex for this video. I just wanna get married nooooooow. But I can't, no I can't.

Wish u two all the happiness there is.

Broken hurts

I haven't been blogging coz nothing interesting been happening in my life. Just long days at sch and work. Of course gym oh and I've been baking a lot these days. Don even know where I get the strength coz am always exhausted.

Anyhu, one of my closest, bestest, buddy loving friends just broke up with her almost 2yr bwoyy (they were making 2yrs in August). She really hasn't told me why coz every time she tries to, she just breaks into tears. Am kinda sensing its her fault coz she even didn't tell me in the first place. I only realised they werent together coz he had taken away all pics of her from Instagram n Facebook. Yeah I know best friends should talk but she eventually will tell me. I know that. 

The point if this post is to actually encourage all broken hearts out there that its ok too feel down, to be angry. Cry out for Gods sake all that rage. Soon or later, it will go away. Time for sure heals all wounds. Just know that being single only means discovering yourself, getting to know you and just live your amazing life until the right one shows up coz you honestly are amazing and if anyone cannot see that they aren't good enough for you.  Put on your usual fabulous clothes, make up, optimism that you always have and damn it smile coz you always preach how important smiles are.

I am honoured to have the best man by my side but it took endless years of being single, being my fabulous self and of course my Tom boy years that led me to think that that was the reason I was single. Oh gosh. But the main reason was no one was good enough. They were too tall, too shabby, too black, too white.......too of everything. Those were just excuses. Anyhu, even though am in a relationship, I make sure it doesn't define who I am. Nope, no. I am still my fabulous, over talkative, beautiful, amazing, exquisite self and yall are. 

Just love. Good nite dollz

Am damaged for life

Wazzzzzap;)

I actually have not been that busy but could not be bothered to blog coz its been very hot outside and i cannot be sitting and blogging. helllll NO. Anyhu, am at sch nerding myself even though we technically got no sch today. Am behaving for sure. Gats to be heading to work soon though. Tough life.
I am taking physiology course at the moment and am reallly starting to be nerdy and my friends who take other courses find me weird these days. In physiology, we get to learn about different human organs and stuff. Yesterday, i did revision about the kidneys. Ha! its one of the most interesting organs people. So having understodd everything, i went home and all of a sudden i was very thirty for like 5 hours. Instead of just drinking water, i went ahead and called a friend and explained how something is wrong with ma kidneys. Good lord. hahahhaah. It was comedy..
My friend just cursed at me and told me to get a life. lol (love u V). I never thought i would turn out like that. I mean am not the type to be very into my studies like that bah hey, i guess people change.
Anywaaaays, am learning about the nervous system now and all its electrical impulses. Not that fun.

Have a nice weekend dolls.


VERY FASCINATING ORGAN I RECKON.

Hez just all that and some more

Am with someone I have crazy dazy loads of fun with, laugh out loud with, cry childish tears with, smile with and even when silently watching tv, it's one of the best moments.
Hez too kind to me. I can see how he treats me, loves me and puts me in front of EVERYTHING. I never thought I would have that much impact on someone, I never thought someone will have that kinda impact on me. It's crazy. He makes me do stuff I never dreamt. Hhaa! I for sure make him do stuff. Hahahahaha just remembered how I convinced him to do a ridiculous thing. Quiet embarrassing but he went ahead and did it. We actually have been together for a couple of years now and we still have that googli boogli relationship with each other. Folks I tell you love exists.

Anyhu haven't been able to update coz I was with him. Yes with him<3 data-blogger-escaped-.="" data-blogger-escaped-16="" data-blogger-escaped-a="" data-blogger-escaped-all="" data-blogger-escaped-br="" data-blogger-escaped-feel="" data-blogger-escaped-i="" data-blogger-escaped-of="" data-blogger-escaped-sudden.="">

Procrastinating

Yeah am good at procrastinating. Doing everything apart from what i actually have to do. Anyhu, my blogging been wack and thats coz its been quiet festive over here. Met ma entire family and cousins and lots of other people so yeah party;). I thought yesterday was Sunday and that Today was Friday;). Lol but ma weekend is gonna be chill coz will just be catching up wiv the love of my life. Ma honey boo

Annnnnnd, i got some news. One of my closest friend and cousin let us know that he/she is homosexual. Ha! We just hugged and i was happy she/he told us coz i feel honored that they finally came out;) claps claps claps. Ive never had trouble with gay people, unlike my friends. Anyhu thats about it. Oh one thing, my day was amazing and i was dressed like a hippie. hehehe

Here is a photo i took today after my gym session. It was 7 pm but it was still light outside. Summer is sure comin. Nite dollz