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Tuesday, 13 November 2012

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE

Oooh love love. Now am talking about the real love , sensual love to someone else. Not this love to your family or puppy. Noope I mean this chris Brown Rihanna love (not the beating part). Love makes us go crazy, no it makes me go crazy. I become different in a weird way that I can't put in words. I let go of everything and just live in the "love bubble." Thats good and bad sometimes coz when the love mood is switched on, I can't think clearly, I can't reason, am just in wonderland, dreaming which means that I loose track of reality. Now that happened to me the first months of ma relationship, and then reality caught up with. Now I can't say that hell opened but heaven decreased for sure and ma eyes opened. Someone bust ma bubble and I started seeing the bad side of this creature (as if anyone is perfect).
I started wondering if am in this coz I feel like I HAVE TO be in this ,like I can't get better. Or bse am afraid to be alone, or why the hell am I in this coz ma perfect creature ain't that anymore? Bla bla bla, lots of questions and confusion but I stayed. Why? Curiosity or bse this love disease was catching me.  Now when heaven wasn't that perfect, I decided to make it perfect FOR ME and build up ma big love bubble again. I gave this a shot and yeah, am happy I did coz i decided to see the good, the better, the best in ma lover and I liked what I saw and  experienced. But that didn't mark blind for the bad sides, coz they for sho came up now and then. Ma lover changed and vice versa. Not for ma sake, but for our sake. And every time  I decided to change on something, I made sure it was a good decision, not just for love sake.
Am a better person bse of this 2 yr long relationship. Better, in a way that I love harder, I give all, I trust more, brush off tiny things, appreciate love and give whenever I can. Yes am a better person bse of him coz he is all I want and need right now. He is too perfect that it nags me and I pick up fights from nothing(tear drops);(. And I will try ma best not to. I have to be beta at everything in this relationship coz its healthy to me as vegetables are good to me. Hehehehehe ok, not a good metaphore but u get the point.

I can honestly say that am happy. Not fake, but real happiness. Even behind closed doors, ma happiness is still real WITH HIM.

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