Now that am here, things are very very different from Sweden. Work/sch is hectic as hell and it seems like no one ever takes a breather. Good for them coz they are committed to working though that aint good for their bodies in the long run. Anyhu, I've always had friends my entire life. I have never been the alone person, nonetheless being alone sometimes gives me panic attacks. Sad story.
Anyhu, these past days, I've made it a mission to make friends. Since the department am doing research with only has "older" people who do not seem interested in hanging out with me. First world problems, i know. So, I've been randomly talking to people on the traums. People are genuinely nice but no one is willing to give u their phone number. They give u the "i don't know you that well" look.
I have even visited the big universities here, trying to talk to random people but nope, nada. The other day, i found a facebook page of swedish in Melbourne, replied to some comments that people wanted to meet but no one showed up. Now the latter threw me off the rails. You know the feeling where u feel like u gonna burst out crying at any time, where u feel like tears are in your throat waiting to come out? That is the feeling i had tonight at the market. I cannot believe i went around there for almost 4 hrs all alone, whilst everybody is in groups enjoying.
Anyhu story of my life indeed. The search continues. I miss my boyfriend deeply. He gets me like nobody does, i miss his hugs. I miss my dear little sister, who shows me tough love. She is such a good person, i wish i had even half of that good heart she has. She is smart, too smart for her own good sometimes. I miss my mum. My dementia mum, who keeps nagging at me and asks me 10000 times a day if i have eaten. It pisses me off. I miss my Hakim, who is also too smart for his own good. I wish i had choosen London, that is nearer to sweden. fuck
