DEAR DIARY

Dear Diary,

I am now feeling better. Oh well, am back on earth, to my loneliness. All my visitors for the past few days packed and left me alone(that was a few days ago) and the drama queen i am, ive been feelin "not good." Life goes on i guess. I am such a lousy person who makes mountains out of mold holes but ha! someone gotta be that.
Anyhu, ive had productive days, especially when it comes to the gym part. Was at the gym yesterday and today and woop woop, i did spinning today for an hour, and then sit ups for half an hour. Lol, my black ass was about to faint i swear. I was like "cmon cmon just a few seconds". Lol right before i was to make a scen, they played a song. omg Halleluyah, i just got this new energy from nowhere, forgot my pain and sang along like a mad woman. God bless them. hehehehe. So am now in love with spinning, as long as they keep playing dope songs, am there.

They played this one right here. I went ballistic. And they actually played the remix part 3. love
Anyhu, good nite dollz.

LIFE IS BUT A DREAM

What's the meaning of life? In my opinion, life is love. The unconditional love to your parents, the cat and mouse love relationship to your siblings, on and off love to a best friend, love to materialistic stuff, loving a hobby or just love. The love you feel when u look at your child, the libido love you feel rushing through your veins when your significant other touches you. Love.
Love can mend you, it can give you joy, it makes you feel like impossible is nothing. Love can make you see things differently. It makes you feel like you are on top of the world. Literally. Love is and can be dark. It can break you, tear you to tiny mini painful pieces, make you feel worthless even when your tears roll down, you won't feel it. That's the love making you emotionless. Love is very beautiful, beautiful like the roses growing outside. But them roses got thorns on them. Love is..........love. It's something I've never grasped as it makes my mood change rapidly like a hormonal filled pregnant woman. Love plays on my mind, it controls me and makes me feel helpless. It makes me feel like am not in control of my life. Like am not in control of anything AT ALL. Now this drives me the crazy.
This is and has happened to me coz I let it. I don't know how it got this far but ah, it aint easy. I love the part where am all smiles and wat not while when it comes to other parts, am just...... a prisoner who built their own prison.

Mr Wrong

À Word without music ain't no fun. This crid is great.

HARLEM SHAKE

Happpppy weekend. Hehehe I know it's only Thursday but am saying happy weekend today coz mine started today. I seriously love love love weekends. My middle name should be weekend lover. I always make the most of them, even though when am working. The only time I don't feel the weekend fever is when I got exams. This time around am free as a bird. Got GIGANTIC plans or the weekend with the best of the bestest.<3. I will be dancing the Harlem shake for shizzle, though I can't stay under water for that long bah will try.
Til Monday, happy weekend dolls.

ITS OK WHEN IT AINT

Am a very honest person. Atleast when it comes to my feelings. I hate when people lie, are fake, pretend or just twist the truth a little bit. You will notice if i dont like you, you sure will tell when am upset or happy or over joyed. Now i aint saying i cannot keep my feelings incheck, coz ha that aint a problem. I cannot be crying at work because am sad. That aint okey.  

The thing is that, if you are mad at me, dont say we good when we aint. 

Do not pretend to be over whatever i did to you and then behave in a weird manner when am round. That kind of sh#"t upsets the crap out of me. Why cant everyone just be real with each other? That kind of behavior is crucial in a relationship. One tries so hard to change and give their entire heart to you, they even put their pride aside to please you and make everything good. What do you do? You play cool. Aint no one got time for that kind of crap. Once you decide to get out of your bubble the other person will gone. Thats a fact

hmmm think am too frustrated to keep writing coz then i will just starts swearing and be rude so am calling it a day.

SOCIAL NETWORK RELATIONSHIPS

Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, tumblr, Myspace you name it. There are lots of social networks out there which enable one to come in contact with lots of People, too many people in my opinion. It's quiet 'easy' and frequent that one comes in contact with strangers and forms a bond with them. Now this is common in blogville where u have this "friend" of yours who always comments ur post and vice versa. That's common. The kind of relationships am talking about is when you meet someone online, lets say thru facebook. Now I ain't claiming its a bad thing whatsoever, it's just that its hard to know the exact person thru the Internet. All these pictures and snaps of someone on these social sites DO NOT describe a person or their life style. Pictures are just a single moment, one minute, taken out from an entire day.
You know how creepy and weird people can be online yeah? But that doesn't mean that true love is never found there. I've sure heard successful stories but ack, I would rather keep away from that til later. Will just say like ma sister says 'I will only try to find love on social sites if am single at 30'. hahahah. But it's inevitable sometimes coz it's nothing planned. U never plan to talk to that one girl and fall in love with them. But when you do meet the love of your life that way, u beta admit it coz ain't no shame in that, in my opinion. I totally understand why a 16year old wouldn't admit meeting that 20+ male online. It's because it's kinda "ashaming" to date online at that age. But how else will she meet those 20+ guys coz she never dates boys in her age? You go girl;);), errrrhm or be careful.

Nite dolls<3

The passion in me

Who I am now explains and literally sketches the path ive taken and wat I have gone thru. Today am rediscovering myself. By today, I mean this week, this month, this year, this century. Am going back to my roots, to dig deep down in me and find stuff I've always done that make ME happy, me me, the things that have a meaning and leading somewhere. The passion for meaningful plots has slowly but surely faded away from me and it's one of those things that keeps me up at night, apart from Uni exams.
My passion for writing and expressing myself , feelings and who i am in poems will for sure be renewed. Football/soccer or wateva you call it, has always been an energy boost so am turning that on. Excise daily or just take peaceful walks. I just have to plan effectively and use my time wisely and be positive for Christ sake. Positive, optimistic, upbeat, chin up etc. y'all get the point.

This wknd been.........not as amazing as my week has been but hey, there are worse things in life.
Happy Sunday dolls<3

You like to see me go but hate seeing me leave.

Letting go

"A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left"... famous Marilyn Monroe so often quoted by many galz as a justification for their independence. I wouldn't lie, hiding behind the quote seems safer than putting yourself out there and risking being hurt. What are we so afraid of? All these tv series or movies always portraying us galz seeking love here and there. Jumping from one guy to another, insearch of someone to care for you, afraid of being left out or scared to commit or being locked down, not attempting to love and be loved back. Giving up a fragile heart and putting yourself out there aint easy but it wouldn't hurt to risk it once in a while. You would never know if you don't try and if you do put yourself out there and he breaks your heart... well bad luck jokes jokes but yes if he/she breaks your heart then that person was your frog and not your prince so move on and keep searching till you find your imperfect prince because no one is perfect but one day you will find perfection in someone's imperfections. Orrrr don't search at all, mind your own life and one day, one minute that prince of yours might come knocking at your door.

Yall get the point, love hurts but it's worth a try. It can either break you or mend you, just like life. You ain't afraid of living so why be afraid of lovin? Good nite dolls<3

AM SUPER C O O L

Am super cool, ive been a fool! But now am hot and baby u gwon get it.
Yall recognise those lyrics? Its the tune am listening to atm. It reminds of lots of thoing but aint got time to tell that coz it just borin....Anyhu, how people been? I have been too happy to blog. Believe it or not, i never ever blog when am super happy coz then life is happening. Thats wats up. Came home today, went direct to sch and then studied til 8p.m and then hit the gym. Am exhausted but happy wiv wat ive achieved today, I acually wasnt planning on blogging this week "sigh" coz of personal issues BUT while at the gym today, a friend and i started talking about valentines day. Yall havent forgotten 14/feb? Now while valentine is the day some of us are looking forward to, others are just dreading it coz they are single.
Hmm weird how things change. Valentines day was the day i never thought of when i went to high school. I have never been the boy crazy type like that. I have always been a sports junkie and lots of valentine days came and when without noticing and now? well like i wrote things change.
Anyhu, its ok to be single on valentines and its ok to be alone. Just hang out with your friends, watch movies, girls night out, sleep over or just treat it as a normal day. I dont even get the hype single people have. Valentines day, so what? Yall single and thats ok (speaking from experience)

Good nite dolls<3

Swedish

"Smart girls are the over-thinkers, the insecure ones, the different ones.
They know what the real world is like. They analyze every little thing in life. Why?
To avoid getting hurt. To find happiness. They stay up at night trying to think about every possible situation to get through all the problems. They think too much. They trust less people. Their insecurity proves their respect towards themselves.
Of course they try to live away from a drama-filled life. Smart girls know their worth, now that's the ones worth keeping by your side."

Jag är en smart och duktig tjej. Javisst, det är jag. De senaste dagarna har jag mått skit och jag antar att det kommer fortsätta på samma bana. Jag är sårad både fysisk och psykiskt. Varenda lilla grej, detalj jag nuddar eller ger mig in på blir aldrig bra. Varför för tusan?! Jag är förvirrad, arg och ledsen, lägger till besviken när jag ändå är igång. Glada, spralliga och motiverad jag finns inte, utan nu är jag negativ, nu litar jag inte på nån, nu är elaka jag i farten. Jag är en sådan som är svår att trösta plus jag blir elak, riktig elak när jag är ledsen så ni får jätte gärna tycka synd om karlen min som står ut med mig. Tröstlös är jag, säger morsan min. 

Det är i alla fall helg. Snart så det tackar jag Gud för, för då ska vilse jag festa sönder och glömmer alla alla, precis alla mina problem och bekymmer. Jag börjar imorn. Efter jobbet ska jag på en fet korridor fest. Och för er som inte vet vad korridor fest är, well ain't ma concern. Hahahaha nu ska jag inte var en sån men googlar. Sen ska jag packa mina saker och söker tröst där jag ändå vet det inte finns. Försöka måste man ändå göra. Är tillbaks på Måndag och då hörs vi alla fina.

Ps, älskar mina kompisar Lobi och Meys som finns alltid för mig även när jag är elak och skäller ut er. 

Wanties

I've been a very good gal and trained both yesterday and today. Whoop woop, am starting to like this. Anyhow, here are my wanties. Must haves be4 summer, that's for sho. The Michael kors watch takes the lead.



The Denim and bag are from river island. Leather pants from bohoo, shoes from bianco and my wanted baby, the watch from Michael kors. I gots to get these. The watch, bag and denim are my bestest.

Good nite dolls.

Mrs Carter

Am a huge Rihannna fan for sho but one can't deny how massive and amazing king Bey is. Here is her performance from the halftime of the Super Bowl. Just amazing.

A student's lyfe

Am finally on earth. I rarely blog on wknds and thats coz they are always hectic for me. you know student life. This past weekend been crazy. The first wknd in ages where I don't jet set to other cities, reason being that I had to work. I went out on Friday and danced all night. Came home at around 5 am, slept til midday and then had to got up and head to work:(.
Later when I came home, I headed to a friend's house and did some studying til 1 am, changed into a nightlife outfit and eased out for a mingIe nite. came home pretty early, at 3am and slept til 9am coz again, I had to work til 6pm on Sunday. Meeeen I was so exhausted after work. Later when I got home, I studied, cleaned my apartment, washed clothes and cooked food. It was midnight by the time I was done and my bed was seriously calling.
Doing this to my body isn't healthy at all but we only live once right?
Anyhu, here is a pic from my lectures @sch right now. Am very bored.